Beading adventures.

Maurice had a beading adventure today!

Maurice is not worried about the fact that people might not think beading is masculine- he is smarter than that, and knows that he is exactly as masculine as he needs to be. Besides, he really likes making things! Maybe that was influenced by the fact that Maurice is himself a handmade craft creation.

He'd like to show you what he made:

Some armlets (Maurice has no hands and therefore no wrists, and the type of jewelry that goes on the wrist is a bracelet, so Maurice has armlets!):

and some leglets (because Maurice has no feet and therefore no ankles):

and, last but not least, Maurice's very favorite creation,

the "meander" armlet. Isn't it lovely? Maurice thinks so.

Do you make things? Tell us about it.

Something Maurice would like to share with you.

Unfortunately, Maurice does not have any photographs of himself to show you today.

Fortunately, he does have a cute picture he found while browsing some other blogs to post.

Look!

What a cute little picture! Maurice likes wordplay.

Oh! A disclaimer. Maurice does not own this little cartoon, so you can't sue him for posting it. Ha!

Learning about laundry with Maurice.

I would imagine that you have done laundry at some point in your lifetime, and know how it works and what you must do. But, well, just in case you don't, Maurice is here to teach you a little lesson.

Maurice did laundry for the first time today, and he is more than happy to show you how to do it.  First, you must sort out all of the clothing by color.

 This is of the utmost importance because, if you don't do it, your clothing will end up with yucky stains. Think how horrible it would be if our dear friend Maurice were stained!

Then, of course, you must load them into the washing machine.

Add some soap...

...but oops! Make sure you don't spill it all over the washing machine like Maurice did.

Set all the dials...

...and now you're all done!

Whew! Poor Maurice is all tuckered out. He hopes you enjoyed this laundry lesson.

A walk in the park.

Maurice went for a lovely late-summer walk in a state park today.

He loved everything about it: the pretty woods, the animals, the outdoorsy people he rarely gets a chance to meet.

Then, of course, there were the bugs. Maurice wasn't a huge fan of those, but he did enjoy the large, pretty spiderwebs he encountered on his walk- provided, of course, that he didn't have to walk through them or any similar such nonsense.

             

He also found a supercool sign.

Maurice would like you to know that he does not in any way condone bringing firewood into state parks, or any other area it did not come from. He posed in front of the sign to let you know that.

Maurice thinks that someday he might like to go on an outdoorsy camping trip. In fact, he can't think of anything he'd like to do more.

Why must everything be so large?

As any vertically challenged being knows, there are many things in the world that are just too big. Pants, shelving units, amusement park rides, and

furniture.

Why, oh why, must everything be so large? Why is Maurice himself not larger? Why must Maurice be photographed in large things? Are people trying to mock him and his small stature?

As it happens, this particular chair is large even for fairly normal-sized humans like Maurice's creator/caretaker.

It sits outside a restaurant and motel and is a popular photo spot. Maurice had some difficulty getting into the chair, but as you can see from the first photo in this post, he managed it somehow. He climbed up the leg:

and sat down in the chair.

Then he attempted to remove himself from the chair, which was arguably a more difficult task than placing himself in it.

Oops! He fell.

He's fine now, though, so everything is all right.

We're sorry, but...

We regret to inform you that Maurice will be taking a vacation for a week or so, during which he may or may not be able to upload photos. After this short break, however, he'll be back up and running.

Meanwhile, enjoy Maurice's very favorite music video:

Small stuffed things have to defend themselves too, you know.

Maurice made a fort today.

It's not very big, but then again, neither is he. He's quite excited about it, though- he wants it to stay up forever, and doesn't understand why it has to come down at some point.

Please don't disturb Maurice's fort.

He might just throw a large sock at you.

Television.

Maurice is a fan of television.

There are many things Maurice enjoys about television. First of all, he is a small, cute stuffed thing. That means people invariably want to cuddle with him. If Maurice watches television, he gets to sit on a lap, which he enjoys immensely.

Maurice enjoys almost anything he sees on the TV screen, but he is particularly enamored with reruns of old TV shows. He likes them so much that he left the big, cozy lap he previously occupied to sit a bit closer to the TV set.

The old sitcom Maurice was watching featured the lives of a married couple. If only there were another small stuffed thing like Maurice in the world. Although he loves people very much, sometimes he gets a bit lonely for his own kind.

Poor lonely Maurice.

The fantastic world of FedEx.

A package was shipped to Maurice's home a few days ago. This package was special because it had important, fragile contents, which means one thing.

Well, actually, many things, but one thing in particular.

Bubble wrap.

Bubble wrap, as you know, is an amazing, wondrous invention, especially for a small stuffed creature who has never encountered it before and has few joys in the world.

Maurice spent much time in the bubble-wrap-filled box. He isn't sure quite how much- time flies when you're having fun, or so people said once. He is ecstatic to have experienced and reveled in the wonders of bubble wrap, and would like to report that this may just have been the best day of his short little life. If anyone has bubble wrap that they would be willing to give Maurice, it would just be the best gift ever.

Oh, the perils of retail.

Maurice thought he might like to go shopping. Except for the short excursion in which he was stuffed and photographed, it was something he had never done before, and Maurice is quite fond of new experiences.

Little did he know that he would not, in actuality, be able to enter any stores independently.

It's quite sad when one is too small to activate automatic doors.

A stuffing dilemma.

Maurice dislikes the fact that he lacks stuffing. He mentions that it is quite hard to do anything when one is as floppy as wet laundry- and, in fact, what Maurice is is recycled laundry, so he was partially right. Anyway, today he was taken on an expedition to avail himself of stuffing and to complete his heathery blue body. It was difficult for him to ride in a car seat, since he literally lacks a backbone, so he was placed in the handle of the car window.

He was very excited to ride in a shopping cart for the first time, especially when he saw that he was riding on top of (gasp!) stuffing! Something to make him less floppy, and fill up his little tummy!

He was promptly stuffed as soon as he reached the car, and just as promptly photographed near a lovely blue wall, wearing his spiffy orange T-shirt. Anyone who looks as sad and Frankenstein-esque as little Maurice does could use a smiley face on their stomach.

Nice to meet you, Maurice McStuffie.

In the beginning, there was some thread.

And some pins.

And some old fabric.

And a needle.

Maurice McStuffie appeared.

But, you see, poor Maurice McStuffie lacked any actual stuffing.